It’s been a while since I blogged. So long in fact that I came close to deleting my website and I had removed the link to it from my instagram bio. What changed? Well I guess if I’m honest I like reading other people’s blogs, I don’t think the day of the blog is dead, in fact I think they’ll make a resurgence before too long. So I just sat back at my keyboard and typed, seeing where my mind took me.
I love January even though the weather is pap. I love the feeling of a clean slate and having fresh intentions, it is kind of like a colonic irrigation after a month of curry! Ha, you know what I mean though? I don’t believe in starting things that I can’t stick with but January is just that gentle reminder to refresh and declutter which I value. So its the 3rd January and in these few days I haven’t as yet started dry January, how can I with so much alcohol in the house? But I said that once the kids went back to school I would. I have managed to have a small clear out and have six bags in the boot of my car to take to the charity shop as well as an attempt to keep on top of the ironing and do it all. I was inspired by my friend Charlotte who told me over dinner back pre-Christmas that she irons regularly, as soon as things come off the airer, a habit I’d like to get in to after too long living the ‘uggghhh, where’s that top they need for school‘ life and instead ironing it as soon as I can once its dry. Wow, what a dull arse life goal that is! In your 20s? Yep these are the sorts of things that run through your mind in your 40s……..
In 2021 we didn’t do much DIY in the house, it seemed our year ended up being very much about My Felting Heart, as we saw sales increase and the end of the year opportunities with John Lewis and a couple of busy Christmas fairs took up our every evening and weekend. We worked hard on the garden over the summer but evenings seemed to be spent making garlands or managing the admin of MFH, home renovations were on hold. Plus let’s be realistic kids are demanding and mine don’t seem to be at the very independent stage yet so need me alot, hence free time is spent with them not on house or personal growth stuff.
It seems easy to forget what happened in 2021, as you look forward and plan for the year but I know for sure I’m thankful not to have caught COVID and that the kids were able to go back to school at some point (I think) in March 2021. We had a couple of great weeks away spending time in London and Totnes. over the Summer of 2021 I’m a sun worshipper and I know I was lucky to get my sun fix during the May ’21 half term when we splashed in the sea at Bigbury-on-Sea and eat chips on the beach.
I started my gym journey the moment lock down was lifted in April 2021 and Joe from JM Training has really helped me mentally and physically to develop a love for strength training. It stopped the self loathing / guilt I had for my body after I ate anything sweet and I slowly saw incremental gains in my lifting. I’d always felt this huge hatred for what felt like this lumbering heavy physique of mine, yet started to appreciate my strength and more so saw that I was sticking to something, something that was saying ‘I don’t want to be unhealthy as I get older, I want to be fit and healthy’. Muscle mass is known to decline 40+ and your metabolism slows down so in your forties you get this total body shocker as things just start to turn to sh*t! Fight it I say. The one real pisser is my eyesight! I’m pretty blind as a bat trying to see things close up now but hey I feel cute in glasses ! Ha
The kids seemed to flourish in year three, the difficulties they’d faced with home schooling and their struggles with maths they overcame. They made me inordinately proud of so many things and it makes all the hard moments of parenting, which there are many, worth it.
The real low of 2021 was my Dad going in to a care home. I won’t soften it, it was horrible. He hated it, he cried. I cried. He asked what he’d done wrong, he asked if he could come out. He told me he hated it, he blamed himself, all sorts of upsetting conversations. I can see in his eyes whenever I see him now that he looks at me like ‘what have I done to deserve this, do you not love me?’, he never says it but he looks destroyed at what I know he considers being abandoned by his family. His Parkinson’s deteriorated further after going in to the home, (it is impacted by major events or stress) and even now, four or so months later I still feel like a total rat. I feel I’ve failed him. Yet I have to be realistic, what other choice was there? My Mum would have ended up croaking it if she’d continue to care for him. It wasn’t sustainable. Yet if we didn’t have small children I would have tried to care for him here. I do still feel him in a care home will always be one of my big regrets, it must feel like the ones you love have given up on you. When the truth is I think about him every day and would do anything for him to be well. Its been made worse with not being able to see him over Christmas, its coming up to a months since I saw him with a COVID outbreak in his home, I am just thankful that him catching Covid just before Xmas didn’t see his symptoms being too severe.
2022
I want to continue to be organised and tidy – stupid goals but they may make feel in control, so the birthday planner I bought in the NY sale from Busy B should enable me to be organised for all birthdays in 2022. I’m also using a weekly planner to capture everything that needs to happen week by week, so no forgotten kids packed lunches or gym visits. I hope. Small things but taking any unnecessary stress out of your life I think helps for a calmer way of being.
After the launch and success of My Felting Heart I’ve got other product and business ideas on the go. I’m such a believer in just going for stuff. Not wondering ‘what if?’, so I’ll be jumping in two feet deep to some new stuff. I’m also toying with running a workshop from home but not sure yet about the exact content, that one is a work in progress idea. We also need to keep reviewing the products we offer in MFH, what sells well, forthcoming trends etc and tweak our product base.
We’ve got alot of outgoings at the moment and I think it all too easy to shop instantly on your phone if you see a nice jumper, bag or boots whilst aimlessly scrolling so I think my goal for 2022 will to shop more purposefully and to live more frugally. Halt the pressure to alway consume. I’ve started this by returning a top I’d collected today from La Redoute after seeing it on Insta and instantly adding it to my shopping bag. I loved it when I got it today but I don’t need another blooming jumper! I’ve also got a load of sale items to pick up from M&S that I got in the sale for the kids over Xmas – that’s going back. They don’t need anything plus i’m also more aware of my carbon footprint these days and this continual reliance on couriers and the ease of sending things back isn’t good for that.
Depending on COVID over coming months we may be homeswapping to Norway in April and then heading to Spain for some long awaited R & R in July. We’ve got the builders here in mid January to replace the NASTY original bathroom and that’s costing a bomb so other travel plans are on hold but 2023 I’ve got big plans for bucket list adventures.
In the meantime, and throughout the rest of the year, I plan to continue the small habits that make a big difference to my overall health and wellbeing. Stripping out unnecessary distractions from my life. Going to the gym twice a week, reading in bed every night and being open to new things. Seeing friends at least once a month, putting some time aside for me. Watching out for the late night sugar cravings but not beating myself up about ’em when they happen. More nights spent in the garden around the chiminea, I want to visit Daylesford, spend a weekend at a show in London, enjoy some spa breaks, eat at Little French in North Bristol, do a cookery workshop and learn a new skill or craft. I’d like to take the kids glamping, I want to go surfing, would love to visit the Chelsea Flower Show with Christian and finally try and go a bit slower.
How about you? What are your hopes for 2022? I’d love to know,
Becky x
Loved reading your blog. You’ve achieved so much in a year,. A year that for most was turned upside down and challenged us all. You’ve come out the other side and set yourselves realistic goals for 2022. Hopefully you’ll see your dad soon.
My 2021 saw me begin to develop a more balanced work/home time. As a teacher I often spend too much time working in the evenings and at weekends, and not doing things for me. In 2022 I will continue to focus more on the important things me and my family. I have a holiday arranged for the summer, this is the third attempt. I’m hopeful it will go ahead this time. Setting my self a goal of getting fitter and healthier.
Let’s see how we get on.
In the meantime I will carry on looking forward to news on your achievements.
Happy New year xx
Thanks Sue, that’s kind of you to comment. I think we’re all guilty of not looking back and instead focusing on a never ending to do list but stopping to reflect is really powerful.